


Phil Coulson's real life OTP

by Hils



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Clint is the sane one for once, M/M, Phil is a Fanboy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2759591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hils/pseuds/Hils
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Christmas is filled with fanfiction come to life, blushing, kisses and tears.</p><p>AKA the one where Clint Barton is the only rational human being for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phil Coulson's real life OTP

**Author's Note:**

> A HUGE thank you to Chaneen for the beta work and to soshhy for listen to me ramble and reading through my first draft.

“Remind me why I thought this was a good idea,” Coulson mutters as he checks his watch, then the clock on the wall, and then finally glances at the door. 

“Because you’re a decent guy,” Clint replies with a smile. “Anyway, it’s just Christmas dinner. You love cooking! Neither of them can cook for shit and I just felt bad about them spending Christmas eating crappy takeout. You didn’t want Cap spending Christmas eating crappy takeout. I’m pretty sure you said it was unpatriotic or something.”

Phil frowns and remains silent.

“And then I reminded you that who knows when Barnes last had a real Christmas dinner,” Clint continues. “Hell, he probably doesn’t even know himself.”

“Fine.” Phil finally concedes. “Those are all valid reasons.”

Clint’s face softens. “Are you freaking out?”

“No,” Phil bristles. “Maybe, a little. You have to work with these people, Clint. I don’t want to embarrass you.”

“Hey, the fact that you have a fanboy crush on Steve is adorable, okay?”

“It’s not a crush!” Phil protests. “Well, not anymore. I admire him, that’s all.”

Clint shrugs. “Yeah, I get that. He has that effect on most people.”

He tugs Phil closer and presses a kiss to his lips. “You know it’s kind of nice not being the one that’s freaking out for once. You’re going to be fine, okay? When Cap’s with Barnes he’s so oblivious you could probably answer the door wearing a full replica of his costume and he wouldn’t even notice.”

That, at least, gets Phil to smile.

“We good?”

“Yeah,” Phil nods. “We’re good.”

* * *  
Of course, Steve turns up precisely on time. Like precisely. The knock on the door happens exactly as the clock in the living room starts to chime. Clint doesn’t know if Steve stands outside waiting or if the serum just gives him some kind of weird time keeping superpower.

“Phil,” Steve greets with a warm smile and a firm handshake, as Phil opens the door. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Captain Rogers,” Phil replies, and Clint is impressed at how cool he’s managing to keep himself this time. “The pleasure is all mine.”

“I’ll bet it is,” Clint mutters, and grunts when Phil elbows him in the ribs.

“This is Bucky,” Steve says, tugging his friend forward. “Thank you so much for inviting us over.”

Bucky nods at Clint and then extends a hand to Phil. “Nice to finally meet the guy Barton won’t shut up about.”

This time, the cool exterior slips a little, and Phil’s neck flushes pink as he shakes Bucky’s hand.

“Come on in,” he says, stepping aside. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“A coffee for me, please.” Steve says, as Clint leads them into the living room.

“I’ll take something stronger if you’ve got it,” Bucky adds.

Phil disappears into the kitchen to prepare the drinks and check on the food while Clint plays host.

“You’ve got a lovely place,” Steve says, as he takes in the view from the window.

Clint shrugs. “It’s Phil’s place, really, but neither of us is here much. I think he has a housekeeper who comes in and waters the plants.”

Bucky’s standing in front of the glass doors that lead out to the balcony, watching the snow that’s falling outside. Steve moves over behind him and rests his chin on Bucky’s shoulder.

“You okay?”

Bucky nods. “Yeah. Just never expected to have this, you know? Sometimes I think I’m still in the cryo tank and this is all just a crazy vivid dream.”

Steve turns Bucky towards him, brushing his fingers through his hair and smiling gently. “It’s not a dream, Buck.”

As Steve leans in to kiss him, Clint makes a hasty retreat to the kitchen.

“You might want to give them a minute.”

Phil’s eyes drift to the ceiling in a silent prayer. “I can’t believe Captain America and Bucky Barnes are making out in my apartment.”

Clint grins. “They’re still in that sickeningly romantic new relationship phase. I think they’ve earned it, considering it’s taken them 80 years to get there.”

Phil smiles at that. “They finally got their happy ending.”

“Mmm,” Clint agrees, leaning in to press a kiss to Phil’s lips. “Might not have been 80 years for us, but it sure felt like it.”

Phil kisses him back and then nods his head towards the door. “Go and check to see if the coast is clear.”

Clint laughs. “You know you're giving me an endless supply of blackmail material, right? What’ll it take for me to not tell your team about the time you hid in the kitchen because you couldn’t handle seeing Captain America kissing his new boyfriend?”

Phil smirks. “I’ll just mention the mission in Sofia.”

Clint’s face pales. “Right. This never happened. Got it.”

“I thought you might say that.”

* * *

Phil’s staring again, and it’s far from being embarrassing. The sheer joy on his face is so damn adorable Clint’s amazed he’s managed to keep his hands to himself so far. Steve’s oblivious to the staring, of course. His eyes are fixed firmly on Bucky, as though he’s afraid Bucky will just blink out of existence if he looks away for even a second. 

“Remember Christmas in ‘37?” Steve asks, and Bucky’s lips curl up into a smirk. 

“I’m never going to forget that one, Rogers. The first year we had a decent cut of meat and you promised me you knew how to cook it. 75 years later and I can still smell the smoke.”

Steve grins. “Why do you think I was going to order takeout this year? Thank you again, by the way, Phil, for inviting us over.”

Bucky leans over and presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek. “Yeah, my stomach is incredibly grateful.”

Phil makes a small strangled noise in the back of his throat that sounds like it wanted to be some sort of squeak. 

“I,” he clears his throat. “I’d better go and check on the food now that you mention it.”

He pushes back his chair and scurries into the kitchen. Steve and Bucky are back to staring at each other and, god, it’s sickening.

“I’m gonna go help with that,” Clint mutters, mostly to himself, and follows Phil into the kitchen.

“Are you okay?”

Phil isn’t even pretending to check the food. He’s just staring at the oven like it will solve all of his problems.

“Clint, Captain America and Bucky Barnes are sitting at our dinner table. They’re _flirting_ with each other. It’s like every fanfic I ever read has come to life.”

Phil’s cheeks are flushed, and when he bites his lip it’s all Clint can do to stop himself from laughing. He’s so used to seeing Phil all cool and collected and professional everywhere outside their bedroom. This Phil? Is all kinds of cute.

“I’m sorry,” Phil says after a moment. “I know you work with Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes. I didn’t mean to make this awkward for you.”

This time Clint does snort. “Are you kidding? These guys have seen me at my worst. A little bit of fan enthusiasm isn’t going to make anything awkward for anyone. Besides, they’re so wrapped up in each other I don’t think they even noticed.”

Phil grins. “It’s nice to see them get their happy ending.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Clint replies. “I thought he and Stark were going to murder each other at one point, but since Cap and Barnes got their act together all the shit Stark says and does just slides right off him.”

Phil smiles. “Yes, it’s amazing how being in love can pretty much neutralise the Tony Stark effect.”

Now Clint’s the one who’s blushing. They’ve been together for almost a year now and Clint still can’t quite believe that Phil Coulson is interested in a screw-up like him.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Phil says softly, as he leans in to press a gentle kiss to Clint’s lip. “I know that look means you’re thinking you don’t deserve this. You do.”

“Hate the way you always know what I’m thinking,” Clint murmurs, but he kisses Phil back. “C’mon, we should get back out there. You good?”

“I’m good,” Phil nods. 

* * *

They’re just getting to the end of the soup course when Clint’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He glances down, and excuses himself when he sees the call is from Natasha.

“I need an extraction,” she hisses as soon as he answers his phone. “Now!”

Clint can’t stop himself from grinning. “Nat, you’ve been in Massachusetts for less than 24 hours. You abandoning your mission already?”

“He’s taking me to meet his parents, Clint. It was supposed to be just the two of us and now there are parents involved.”

Clint winces at that. 

“Look, Wilson’s a decent guy, Nat. If you’re freaking out about this, tell him.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Natasha protests immediately. “I’m just…”

“Talk to Wilson,” Clint repeats more gently. “Or I can put Rogers on the phone if you want a pep talk from him instead.”

Natasha hangs up and Clint grins.

“Everything okay?” Phil asks when Clint rejoins them at the table. 

“Everything's great.”

* * *

Clint lets out a low groan and pats his stomach. “I think I’m gonna burst if I eat anything else.”

“Mmm…” Bucky agrees. “So good.”

“That was a great meal, Phil,” Steve says with a smile. “Thank you so much for cooking.”

“Phil’s amazing.” Clint beams proudly as he helps Phil collect the dishes from the table. “The things he could do with the crappy supplies in the crappy safehouses we used to get holed up in.”

“I can believe it,” Steve replies. “And, please, leave those, Phil. Bucky and I can clear up.”

“Best not to argue with him,” Clint says, as he sets down his pile of plates. “He has his Captain America face on.”

“Well, at least let me make us some coffee,” Phil replies faintly, as he watches Steve and Bucky make quick work of loading the dishwasher. 

“How about I make the coffee,” Clint suggests. “You cooked. Go sit down and relax.”

* * * 

“And then Steve said, ‘Sorry, ma’am, I didn’t realise this area was off limits.’”

Clint howls with laughter while Steve buries his face in Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Barnes, I swear to god, I will pay you to tell that story to Stark while I’m there. We’ll get JARVIS to take a video of his reaction.”

“Noooo,” Steve’s muffled protest comes out. “Bucky if you love me at all you will never tell that story again.”

Bucky presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Sorry, Steve, but your colleagues deserve to know about the guy they’ve elected as their leader.”

Steve pretends to cry and it just makes Bucky laugh.

“So.” Phil clears his throat. “I hope it’s okay, but Clint and I have a small gift for you to celebrate your first Christmas together. Well, back together, I suppose.”

Steve raises his head from Bucky’s shoulder and smiles. “You didn’t have to do that. But it just so happens we have a little something for you, too, to say thank you for inviting us over and cooking for us.”

Phil pulls the gift from the drawer next to the couch and hands it over, while Steve pulls his gift out of his jacket pocket.

“You go first,” Steve says, once the gifts have been exchanged. 

“You open it,” Clint says, handing it to Phil. “You did all the work.”

The gift is neatly wrapped, and a slip of his finger under one of the flaps has it opened.

“Oh…”

Clint peers over his shoulder. “Shit, Steve!”

It’s a drawing of the two of them, standing close together. Clint has an arm flung over Phil’s shoulder and they’re laughing about something. Steve’s signed his name in the bottom corner.

“I don’t know what to say,” Phil murmurs, his fingers hovering over the lines of the drawing but hesitating to touch. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Steve replies.

“Open yours,” Clint says, as Phil carefully sets the drawing to one side. 

“You do it,” Steve says, handing the gift to Bucky. 

Bucky tears into the paper and almost drops the gift when he sees what it is. Steve's reflexes kick in, and he grabs it before it hits the floor. But when he sees what it is, he almost drops it again.

“What..how did you get this?”

Phil’s cheeks flush. “I bought it at a private auction years ago. Before either of you came back. It didn’t feel right keeping it, so…”

It's a candid photo of Steve and Bucky that had been taken by a journalist sent over to Germany to interview them. In the photo, Bucky is telling a story, while Steve and the rest of the Commandos listen with varying degrees of mirth. Clint knows Phil has always loved that photo, and he’d never admit it to anyone but Clint but it had been used for inspiration for several of his fanfiction stories back in the day. 

Steve’s finger traces over Bucky’s face. “You remember this?”

Bucky nods. “I think so. I was telling some lame story about the fights you used to get into back home, and how even though you were bigger now, you were still an idiot punk”

Steve snorts.

“Merry Christmas,” Phil says, pulling Clint close to him and pressing a kiss to his temple.

Steve raises his eyes, and Clint and Phil politely pretend not to see the tears in them.

“Merry Christmas, Phil.”


End file.
